Sometimes we find it difficult to express ourselves in work or our home life. If this is something that has happened to you, fearing that you might be judged when you express yourself, you don’t have to stay that way.
Maybe you learned a long time ago to be “seen and not heard” to keep the peace, and today you still find it hard to find your voice. It is so important for you to realize that your self-expression and opinion matters. When you avoid ‘rocking the boat’ and voicing your opinion, you’re not valuing yourself or your priorities. You are not speaking your truth. By staying quiet, you also play small in life, causing sad feelings and resentment to fester and turning them in on yourself. To gain the respect from others and more importantly, from yourself, you must use the voice you were given – to speak up.
I know that this is easier said than done, especially If you are shy or suffer with social anxiety, this can be quite difficult. Try the following exercise and begin the process of freeing your voice:
Start by writing in a journal about times where you were feeling mad at yourself for not speaking up. Write down what you would have liked to express clearly and assertively in that situation and notice how you feel.
Notice if what you said was helpful, interesting, humorous, useful to others. You will find that this will be the case in most circumstances.
Speak the words you wished you expressed out loud to yourself in private or better still, in front of a mirror. Much like a rehearsal, you will find over time that you become familiar with how you sound.
Get into the practice of hearing yourself express your view, and then try it out with others.
Find your voice, enjoy your contribution and stop being disappointed with the outcomes because you didn’t express your thoughts and opinions. Whether the outcome is the one you wanted or not, you participated, you gave your opinions a voice and an opportunity to be considered.
If you would like some help with communicating assertively, please feel free to contact me.
After just recently buying a car, I’m very diligent in checking my dashboard for any warning signs as I don’t know the full history of the car. My dashboard in my car informs me of how much gas I have left in the engine, do I need more oil, how fast am I traveling and how far I have traveled from A to B. In life, we need a way to track where we are going, how fast we want to get there, are we performing at our optimal level.
Are there any warning signs (obstacles, potential pitfalls) that we need to be aware of that will get in the way of our progress. Are you keeping track of where you are now to where you want to be? What weekly actions are you taking to get your goal/project completed? If you set out to accomplish something in 2019, but have not made progress, or enough progress, there is still time left. Nine times out of ten, I have found that when my clients have failed to move the needle forward, they have failed to set a plan, and track their progress to plan.
Did you set a plan, or did you just set a goal? To be successful, you must do both, and you must measure your progress, and hold yourself accountable to your commitments. Whether or not you achieve your goal completely, if you use this methodology, you will grow, and you will move forward.
If you struggle creating your plan, or holding yourself accountable, getting a coach can help, contact me for details.