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Ki4Life Moments

Thanks – Giving

11/21/2018

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Whatever is going on in your life currently, the following exercise is a lovely way to reflect on your year!
 
We are near the end of the year and preparing for the holidays with family and friends. It is a time for giving, sharing time together and attending social events.  But there are some of us that struggle at this time of year.  No matter, how hard your year may have been, there are always good things - blessings you’ve had throughout the year.
 
When we remind ourselves of all the things that we are grateful for, they help create positive neurons in our brain. The phrase “Neurons that fire together, wire together” was phrased by Canadian neuropsychologist, Donal Hebb in 1949. It means that every thought, feeling, physical experience we have forms a neural network. When we repeat certain thoughts, tasks over and over, the brain learns this new way as being the new normal. The more we are grateful, the more ingrained this practice becomes and the easier it is for our brains to automatically process gratitude.
 
“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow” -  Melody Beattie 
​
What if Thanksgiving wasn’t one day in the year?
Use an old jam (jelly) jar or mason jar with a bunch of coloured sticky notes.  Sit down in the evening for 5-10 minutes each night for the next few weeks and look back over this past year and write down the things that you are grateful for that you experienced during the year.  It doesn’t take long.  This is a fun project to share with your kids and loved ones. I have done this with my family and we have used Thanksgiving Day to open our jars and read several of them out loud to everyone at the dinner table.  This jar of gratitude notes can be opened on New Year’s Eve or even on New Year’s Day before the beginning of a New Year!  You will be amazed at how quickly you will fill up your jar. They are also a wonderful keepsake to have to look at years from now as reminders of all the many small things that make your life a blessing.
 
My youngest daughter used this idea to give as a gift to her best friend when they were 10 years old. Instead of what my daughter was grateful for during the year, she wrote on the sticky notes, all the things she was grateful for in her best friend. All her great qualities and how she valued their friendship. She gave it to her friend on her birthday.  I also received one on my birthday from my daughter and it is very special to me. There is nothing like getting a jar full of positive statements of love about you to cheer you up!  This can be done for your partner or spouse too to show them you appreciate them and love them. 
 
Happy Thanksgiving to you all this week!

If you would like help in applying this to your life, personal or business - please click here to book in a complimentary call with me Schedule-A-Call​
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Failing To Review Failure Results In Future Failure

11/12/2018

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“Honesty is the fastest way to prevent a mistake from turning into a failure.” – James Altucher
  
In one of my recent Vlogs, I talked about blaming others when we find ourselves overwhelmed with challenges. We don’t take responsibility for our actions and act like a victim, helpless to our situation.
 
When we make mistakes, we do the same – we try to blame others because it’s just too painful to feel like we failed. But if we don’t take responsibility for our mistakes, we avoid all the learnings. We must admit our mistakes, be accountable for our actions, move away from blame and move towards understanding what went wrong. There is no shame in making mistakes, only in not learning from them. Many of us feel when we fail, we are failures, when we make a mistake, we are a mistake. This is of course not true but the shame of failing sometimes is so great, it feels that way.
 
Mistakes are a learning opportunity but in learning, one must be willing to be completely honest about the facts. Learning requires ownership – I allowed this to happen knowing or unknowingly. I need to figure out what went wrong, unemotionally, and understand why whatever happened, happened!
 
Don’t compare the next time with the last time because the situation won’t be the same. Every situation will have a different outcome when new learnings from previous mistakes are applied.
 
Change your perspective – making mistakes is showing you are trying new things, experimenting and being courageous. If you never make a mistake, never take risks, you are not growing and developing your true potential.
 
How many of us have failed at something we are attempting to do, accomplish, or achieve? The correct answer is all of us – everyone of us fail from time to time. What do you do when you make a mistake? Do you give up, move on to something else or do you dust yourself off and start over?
 
Successful people certainly do the latter – develop resilience, tenacity and have a ‘can do’ mentality. Mistakes/failing is not the end but rather a bump in the road, a stumbling block, something to be avoided in the future.  Mistakes reviewed equals possible future successes. Lessons learned builds resilience, leads to a growth mindset and creativity in individuals who cannot be kept down or held back.
 
So next time you find something failed or a mistake was made, ask yourself:
  • Did I give myself enough time to complete the project or task?
  • How would I do the project next time, based on what I learned?
  • Did I share my lessons with anyone, get another person’s perspective?
  • What do I need to do to insure I don’t repeat my mistake?
 
There will be any number of questions that arise after your review, but that is good, take the time to answer the questions – these will help you create your roadmap to avoid similar failures, and future success. Taking responsibility is always key, and the more you review, the more you will make improvements and grow.

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Making Room For What Matters.

11/1/2018

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“Abundance is a process of letting go; that which is empty can receive.” - Bryant H. McGill


The book,  “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo was introduced to us by our eldest daughter.  She was getting ready to move out into her dorm for college and had read this book in a day. This became her mission and soon her mission became our family mission - spreading to every room in our house and boy was it life changing!
 
The rules (not all listed here) that were suggested in the book were as follows:
  • Tackle one room at a time.
  • Pull everything out of your closets (EVERYTHING) That goes for all accessories, even belts.
  • Then hold each piece of clothing in your hand and ask yourself, do you love this item? If not, dump into charity pile.
  • If it has sentimental value and you have not warn it for the past year, dump it.
  • If you love a piece of clothing but don’t have anything to match with it, dump it. (If you really loved it, you would have found something by now to match with it.)
  • If you have items that you don’t wear because you hope to fit back into them one day, dump it.
  • These rules goes for shoes, coats, belts, scarfs etc.
 
Lessons learned:
  • Keeping things because of their sentimental value keeps you stuck in the past. If it’s not something you wear or use what’s the point in holding onto it.  We store sentimental stuff in our memories, why do we need an item for that!
  • If you are keeping clothes that are too small for you and are hoping to one day fit back into them, you are only causing you to suffer. They are a constant reminder that you are not happy with your body image as it is now. So dump clothes that are too small. Don’t fool yourself – they are not an incentive to lose weight

The benefits:
  • Every time I went into my closet to pick something to wear, it felt like a whole new experience. The reason for this was because all I had left in my wardrobe was only the clothes I LOVE to wear.  I no longer kept my fancy clothes for lunch dates with friends or celebrations. When you wear your nice clothes on an ordinary day of the week, it turns that day around to feel extra-ordinary. You feel glamorous. I even made an effort to wear makeup everyday so it would show off my attire.
  • I found myself making more plans to meet up with friends more often. I felt more social because I was in clothes that made me feel good. 
  • My shopping experience changed too. I stopped buying clothes just because I thought the item was a bargain. Most of those items, I never loved, I just thought it was good quality for the price and felt I should buy it for that reason.
  • When it came to shoes and bags, I made sure I would replace a bag or shoes with ones in my wardrobe. I would discard the old ones and not leave them thrown in the back of the closet to gather dust and clutter my space up.
  • I am a major book worm and love books. Any books that I wanted to buy, I would either order them in at the library or buy them on Kindle. It was painful for me to declutter my collection of books from my home and didn’t want to experience this ordeal again. Once they were gone though, I did love the new space it provided on my shelves for my kids painted pottery pieces.

I loved being in my house more. Everything was in its place and organised.
 
This decluttering exercise was so therapeutic. I felt my entire house was revamped, and the energy was uplifting.  I fell in love with my home for the first time! My mental state felt like it had been given an overhaul too. I was more aware of how I looked every day not just on days with friends or celebrations. My spending habits changed. I didn’t throw away money on sale items just because they were on sale. I had to love the item first and foremost. I saved a fortune on books by borrowing them from the library and kindle books are always cheaper than hard copies.  House cleaning felt easier as everything had its place, nothing spilled over into other rooms. Everything had a purpose, a function.
 
So if you are feeling like you are in a funk or need uplifting,  why not try overhauling your living space.  Trust me, this experience is “Life Changing!!”


If you would like help in applying this to your life, personal or business - please click here to book in a complimentary call with me Schedule-A-Call​

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  • Home
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