Are You The Designer of Your Own Life?

When we are young, our beliefs are formed through our relationships – our parents, teachers, coaches and community.  These adults, to varying degrees, shaped our lives, and influenced our values, beliefs and attitudes. But now as adults, we can look back and see if these beliefs and values truly align with our own. Moreover, when put under a lens – do they make us feel better or worse about ourselves, do they hold us back or push us forward?
 
I grew up with the belief that “if you’re going to do something, do it right or don’t do it at all”.  I heard this repeatedly growing up from my Mom.  This belief was my Moms.  She was always a very hard worker, holding down several jobs at the same time, and always taking pride in having a meticulously clean home.  However, this belief in my mind translated to perfectionism and in turn caused procrastination on anything and everything I found difficult.  I had the attitude that if I can’t do a project or assignment to a high standard, I should not start at all.  This spiraled to negative thoughts - believing that maybe I was just lazy, and not smart enough. It drove self-doubt and a lack of self-worth.
 
"If you accept a limiting belief, then it will become a truth for you" - Louise Hay

Once I sat down and analysed my belief system, I began to question whether some of my beliefs and attitudes were my own, or were they the beliefs of others that I had simply absorbed or taken on during my early years. The question I asked myself was did these beliefs still represent who I was or wanted to be and did they help me, and push me forward? I began to let go the fear of failing. I stopped putting things off – I either did something it let it go.
 
Here is a powerful exercise that I have used, created by Jack Canfield to help transform any limiting belief into empowering ones.

• Identify a limiting belief that you want to change or make a list of them if you have many.
  • Example: “I need to do it right or don’t do it all”
• Determine how the belief limits you.
  • Example: “I procrastinate and don’t start at all”
• Decide how you want to be, act or feel.
  • Example: “I will learn from doing even if it’s not perfect”
• Create a turnaround statement that affirms or gives you permission to be, act, or feel this new way.
  • Example: “I can do many things right and each time I do something new, I will learn from it and grow”.

 
““Failing forward” is the ability to get back up after you’ve been knocked down, learn from your mistake, and move forward in a better direction.” – John Maxwell
 
It’s time to challenge those beliefs – sort out the old from the new, the empowering from the limiting.  We need to go within to ask ourselves who we really are, otherwise we will continue to live our lives living the way others want us to live and be. Whether, like it was for me, procrastination holds you back, or it’s fear of failure, or some other limiting belief – use this exercise to transform your belief from limiting to powerful beliefs that carry you forward.

You are the designer of your own life!

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