Bounce Back

“I can’t be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” – Maya Angelou

Resilience is being able to experience trauma, loss, high levels of stress and uncertainty, such as problems with health, financial security or work related overwhelm and have the ability to bounce back and continue to move forward in life rather than allowing these experiences to take them down a rabbit hole of despair and hopelessness. I was inspired to write about resilience recently because I have been impressed with several people I know that are demonstrating resilience and may not even be consciously aware of their strength.
 
One of them is struggling with long term health issues, suffering a lot of pain and limitations, but powers through each day with determination and grit.  My friend demonstrates resilience in the same ways that Rolbieki et al (2017) described in his patients who suffer with chronic pain and they are:

1. Actively researching for remedies and treatments with the help of their doctors
2. Getting involved and trying new medical and complimentary therapies
3. Developing social connections and support groups
4. Acceptance of pain and positive effect.

 
Instead of feeling “life is not fair”, my friend is proactive in making her life more manageable and tolerable by educating herself in what could improve it.
 
I have to give credit to my daughter’s resilience. She is only in her early twenties, recently moved to the opposite side of the country in the US for work after College.  Red tape relating to the rental of her new apartment in New York resulted in her moving from Airbnb to Airbnb every few days for a Month. All of this resulting in a big expense, along with dragging cases from one accommodation to the next, not know how long issues with her rental would last, and all the time keeping up with her work schedule.  
 
New York is a fast paced, stressful place at the best of times, not knowing where you’re going to stay every few days only multiplied the stress. When I would ask how she was doing, she would just say “it is what it is” and understood it was a temporary problem. She did not express suffering but acceptance of the problem. In order to cope with the high stress, she immediately explored the new neighbourhoods she found herself in, and what they had to offer – being a Journalist Grad, coffee shops and book stores were her favourite. She found the upside to being unsettled and found her adventurous side come out.
 
“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow.” – Mary Anne Radmacher

Resilience helps us balance when we express our emotions or set our emotions aside to better focus on what needs to be done. This flexibility allows us to take stock of the situation, reserve energy for the task at hand, and remain solution focused versus problem focused.
Building resilience that works for one person might not work for another. We don’t all react the same way in stressful situations and demands.  Here are a few suggestions:

1.  ​Incorporate healthy habits: such as exercise, staying hydrated, meditate or have quiet time alone. Eat a balanced diet so when stressful time arise, and they will, you are better prepared and primed to withstand the added demands. Find ways to laugh.
2. Write it down: Some people find it helpful to write in a journal on how they feel during tough times. When we return and read it again a week later, we can get perspective. It also helps with our sleep to data dump on paper, so we can sleep more peacefully.
3. Accept change: change is inevitable. We don’t always like it or want it or even have any control over it but we control how we react to it. Remind yourself, this too will pass.
4. Seek out support: Be proactive in making connections to help support you in your efforts and goals. Knowing you are not alone in stressful times and getting advice from others lessens the pressure.
5. Cultivate a positive mindset: Particulary on your own self-worth, your strengths. You are more capable and resilient than you ever give yourself credit for.
6. Practice empathy: When you can be conscious of others feelings, situations and dilemmas, you can perhaps put your own stresses and frustrations in perspective. Also, you will understand that sometimes, people react impulsively because of their stress and you will not take things so personal yourself. You may also recognise a part of you in them when you are stressed. Take time to observe others empathically.

 
When you develop resilience, you can handle the unexpected, the tragedies, losses and fearful changes in the world much better.

If you would like help in applying this to your life, personal or business - please click here to book in a complimentary call with me Schedule-A-Call​
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