Are you in the driving seat of your life, or simply a passenger? Do you let other people’s views be your guiding light? Stop and listen for a minute, you will be surprised by how much you do, or don’t do in your life that is not driven by you.
Without overdoing the driving metaphor, are you driving through your life with the handbrake on? The handbrake refers to resistance to change, to growth in your life. It can be, and often is what others tell or have told us we are. It can be self-doubt, lack of confidence, but these are usually sourced back to an event or events that were driven by someone else.
It is time to let go of the attachment to old beliefs, regrets, disappointments, and wounds. Repeating these old war stories of our life to anyone who will listen including ourselves only keep us stuck and stops us taking responsibility for moving forward. We need to stop worrying about what might go wrong if we consider doing something new, and stop worrying about what others will think of us.
In the movie “Bridge of Spies” with Tom Hanks, his character is a lawyer representing a spy. Tom’s character asks the spy “Do you ever worry?” to which he responded, “would it help?”. Worrying is futile. Our minds are creating the worst future outcome, one that has not happened yet and there’s no guarantee that it would be a bad future outcome anyway.
It’s important to analyze your thinking when making decisions that create newness. For example, “I’m not confident enough to try it” translates to not trying anything new until you feel confident. Did you feel confident when you got in the driving seat for the first time when learning to drive? Probably not but you did it anyway because you really wanted to drive. Confidence helps but it’s not everything we have in our toolbox to make a change.
Let go of what others think or say about you, and negative chatter you say about yourself as a result – filling your head with doubts, misrepresentations of what is possible. Put a stop to these negative thoughts renting space in your head.
“If you want to reach a state of bliss - make a decision to relinquish the need to control, the need to be approved and the need to judge” – Deepak Chopra
When you are ready to make a change, keep it simple. I suggest you make a line down the middle of a page. On the left side of the line, write all the advantages/benefits of this new decision in the short term and in the long term. On the right side, all the disadvantages/costs in the short and long term to the decision. When the list is all done, walk away from it for an hour or so and come back to it. Notice if anything feels different. Imagine yourself 6 months from now, imagining a year or even 5 years from now if you make this change, how will you feel, how will you look, how will this decision have changed you? Notice too, whether what you hear is your self-criticism, or what someone else has said about you, or told you.
This exercise will put you back in the driver’s seat of your life. Believe in yourself. You are the one that knows you best. What other people think of you is none of your business – don’t let others perception of you, become your reality.
You are so much more than anyone has ever told you are. Embrace your uniqueness, your greatness and be your own cheerleader!
If you need help with learning to let your own voice be the loudest and move your life to the next level in your everyday life or work – contact me and we can discuss a plan to get you to where you want to be:
www.ki4life.com or firstname.lastname@example.org