“Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be our best. Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth; it's a shield” – Brene Brown.
As a recovering perfectionist myself, I know first-hand the negative self-talk and low self-worth that happens, especially when you’re on a mission, a goal. It’s easy to berate yourself when things are not going the way you want it to. It’s easy to sacrifice your personal time and health because you take pride in your work. It’s also easy to blame yourself when things don’t go to plan. We tie our perfectionism in with our self-identity and self-worth. We are striving to prove to ourselves that “I am enough” by being the best student, worker, speaker, writer, manager, parent, you can be all the while, there is no set standard of achievement to meet. So, you keep striving to do more, be more, create more, love more to get it to feel “enough” and you’ve reached “success”. Be kind, loving and compassionate to who you are as a human “being” and not focusing on the human “doing” so much. Learn to accept your imperfections and stop putting unreachable demands on yourself. This is easier said than done, right? That’s why I put a couple of suggestions below for the perfectionists who struggle with the following: 1. Stop catastrophizing – blowing things out of proportion in your mind. Putting it on a scale and analysing it allows you to put things in perspective. On a scale from 1-10 how bad will I feel if I don’t get this right? 10 being the worst feeling. Will this bother you a month from now? 2. Celebrate your wins and losses – Perfectionists find it hard to recognize small wins along the way because they are so focused on the end result but write in a journal at least 2-3 things that you did well each day and what things you tried and didn’t work. The losses help us to stretch our minds to do it differently and in turn grow and learn. When you see these things down on paper you can see that you are productive, and your work is valuable – improves self-worth. 3. Learn to delegate - I know this will feel hard at first but “your way is not the only way to do things” – trust others to help. My family was afraid to offer me help because my standards were so high. So, don’t alienate family or co-workers by being a perfectionist. Share and trust that they can do a good job too! 4. Accept compliments – It’s easy to dismiss or not believe a compliment when you receive one because you are so busy belittling and critiquing yourself. You find yourself saying “oh they are just saying that, they don’t mean it” or “oh it was nothing” You block out the evidence that doesn’t match your thoughts, so compliments get shot down or dismissed. Next time say, “thank you”. You will be surprised how pleasant you’ll feel and your acknowledging and respecting others by accepting their praise. 5. Stop being defensive – Being a perfectionist the worst thing to hear is a criticism or negative observation said to you about your work or actions from someone else. It feels like a direct attack on your intelligence or self-worth in some way. We all need feedback and it’s not always easy to give it so we should be appreciative of it when we do get it. What we do with the information is up to us. However, we don’t need to take it as a personal attack of our identity. 6. Stop the black and white thinking –it’s easy to have an all or nothing approach to decisions or actions. Perfectionists like to plan things out before starting a project and if everything isn’t in its’ place, we can give up before we even begin. For example, if we plan to go on a diet and prepare our meals for the week but break the diet the first day of the week by eating a slice of cake at the office, we give up the plan for the week because we failed instead of just starting the diet from the next day. Life is messy and unpredictable at times, don’t be so rigid and think black or white. Know that it’s okay to go into the grey areas too. It won’t kill you. 7. Give up the need to control – Okay this is a big one and it will be the hardest one to let go of. If you are like me and grew up with hearing “If you want something done right, you’ve got to do it yourself”. This belief can have you micro-managing co-workers or even your family members. The house or work project hasn’t been done to your standard, so you go over the work that has already been done to make it better in some way. All the while, the message you are giving others is you don’t trust them, and their standard of work is less than yours. Others don’t realise you are competing with yourself all the time and not with them on perfectionism. It’s not their competency that your judging, it’s your own. If there are typo’s or the house isn’t as tidy as you would like, it’s not the end of the world. Try to lesson your grip on everything being perfect by trying out one or two of the above suggestions every few weeks. The pressure you put yourself under will melt away. Learn to love you just as you are and not what you accomplish. If you would like help in applying this to your life, personal or business - please click here to book in a complimentary call with me Schedule-A-Call Rachel@ki4Life.com www.ki4Life.com
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Do you believe that you can’t do the things that matter most to you like starting a new business, a fitness or health goal, or finding a new job because you just don’t have enough time? "Most of us spend too much time on what is urgent and not enough time on what is important." – Stephen Covey There are only 24 hours in a day, the same 24 hours everyone has, but why do some seem to have more time, or are able to make time? Not all of us have the same amount of spare time, but all of us tend to allocate time to things that are never going to move the needle for us. How do some who have the same hectic lives as we do, get to their important goals? They prioritize and de-prioritize based on what’s truly important and relevant to their needs. It’s very easy for us to make excuses like ‘not enough time’ to go after what is important and fulfilling in our lives because underneath the excuses, is the belief that you are not smart enough, good enough, financially secure enough, creative enough – not ‘enough’ in some way. First and foremost, when we have a belief that limits us, our minds go looking for things to match our beliefs. It gives us evidence to prove our beliefs are true and fact. If we believe we don’t have enough time, then our minds give us plenty of things to keep us busy and not find the time. If we believe, people think we are dull and boring at parties, then all our minds do is have us look around the room all night looking for evidence to prove it by us assuming, anytime we see someone turn their backs in the room to us, they are avoiding us, or if someone leaves early, they must not want to be around us. So, what do we do about these pestering limiting beliefs and how do we start creating the life, the goal we really want? (To help you remove limiting beliefs, here is a link to one of my other blogs: “Are you the Designer of your own Life”) To get clear on what is currently going on in your situation, what is and isn’t working for you, it’s a good exercise to write down 2 columns: 1) Things I do not like or want
Now when that’s done, you need to look at the things you do want and write them down in sentence form again but this time, 1) be specific, 2) in present tense and 3) with feeling added to it.
Make sure to tackle any negative limiting beliefs that you have about your goal. If you write down your goals and you hear yourself saying “Oh I could never achieve that!” “This is easier said than done” – these are goal killing statements and they are sabotaging your efforts. That’s why I began each sentence with “I’ve decided” – your mind is unlikely going to shut that down because it’s a positive word and it’s always possible to “decide” on anything. It is believable to your unconscious mind. You have now discovered what you do and do not want in life. Now you need to check whether these goals fit in with your values, identity and purpose. By asking yourself questions such as:-
If the answers to these questions are positive and have you visualizing the end result feeling enthusiastic, then you know you are on the right path to bring it to fruition. You and you alone are responsible for your happiness, your journey. Take time out of your day or week and focus on what you want in life. Get excited about all the choices you have. Write it all down and make them happen! Once ‘time’ passes, it’s gone. We will never get it back. So let’s not waste time and start doing what brings us fulfilment. If you would like help in applying this to your life, personal or business - please click here to book in a complimentary call with me Schedule-A-Call Rachel@ki4Life.com www.ki4Life.com When my Mom announced her health issues were finally diagnosed as stage 4 pancreatic cancer in the summer of 2014, I knew that both me and my Mom would benefit from Reiki healing to get us through this dramatic turn of events.
At the time, we lived nearly 5,000 miles away from each other so getting this news was more painful as I knew our time together was very limited. All I wanted to do is to be able to physically see and check in on her frequently and I knew that would not be possible. I visited every 12 weeks and we arranged to train in Reiki through all the levels together, attending Reiki Shares and incorporating Reiki into our lives every day. Back in 2014 I had been introduced to Reiki level 1 and after receiving attunement, I noticed very subtle changes in my everyday life. Firstly, when I spent a few minutes a day providing Reiki healing to myself, I felt immediate peace, love and harmony for myself and surroundings (something I struggled to do with a busy life). I used Reiki on myself for all sorts of physical aches and pains. If I felt over stressed or anxious, I would apply Reiki and it always relieved it, but it also opened up my spiritual awareness. I was attuned and practiced Reiki for only 3 months before my Mom’s diagnosis and I felt Reiki came into my life at the right time. My Mom strongly believed her medical treatments were keeping her alive and she felt Reiki would not contradict or interfere with that. She loved knowing that Reiki could do no harm and she would benefit in so many ways from it. We knew that Reiki alone would not heal my Mom’s physical health, but Reiki works on all levels – our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels. There is nothing worse to see someone in pain and not being able to do anything to help them but having Reiki allowed me to assist my Mom with releasing her pain and Reiki worked every time! A year into my Mom’s cancer treatments, she was diagnosed with a second type of cancer that was in her blood. It was even more aggressive than the 1st cancer. Doctor’s believed they would not be successful in finding a chemo cocktail that would be strong enough to control this particular cancer and as it was a rare type, they had no earlier cases to help guide their choice of drugs. After a month on this new cocktail, they would know if it was working and if it didn’t they would have nothing else to attack it with. Fortunately, it did work. Doctors were astonished that they could be that fortunate to discover a drug the first-time round that would control it. But she was told, that she could not take a break from this treatment due to the aggressive nature of this cancer. My Mom’s body reacted to this as she suffered with severe Shingles 3 months later that spread around her chest and back leaving her with permanent scarring. At this point my Mom was mentally her strongest even with all this going on with her physically. It was obvious from looking in her face, she was without pain most of the time and was truly accepting of all of it. She allowed herself to continue enjoying life with her close friends and partner. My Mom never complained about any of it! But I truly believe, it was my Mom’s daily Reiki practices and visualizations that truly helped this come to pass. She believed Reiki was assisting her in managing pain and keeping her mentally strong. She also believed Reiki helped to give her more time. She was right. When I had to return home to Scottsdale, Arizona, I would do distant healing through Reiki for my Mom which allowed me to feel I was able to continue to help her in some way and it gave me great comfort to know that Reiki works no matter the distance in miles. My Mom was always a strong confident woman, but I believe that Reiki assisted my Mom to defy the odds that she would only have months to live. Instead she lived with cancer for 2 ½ years, battling 2 types of the most aggressive cancers and continued to live, laugh and love all her time with her close friends and family. The quality of life was astonishing considering all the chemo and radiation treatments she endured. It was only the last 3 months or so that she slowed down. I am forever grateful for having Reiki especially at this very painful time in my life. It helped me let go anger, frustration and resentment around my Mom’s diagnosis, so I could enjoy celebrating with her the extra time together we didn’t expect to have. Reiki brought much needed healing and forgiveness between us and opened our hearts fully to understand and love each other without judgement. Reiki continues to comfort and ease the emotional pain I experience since my Mom’s death, but I know she’s with me in spirit. Reiki, I believe provided great comfort to my Mom especially in her last few days of life. My Mom was only 65 but looked 55 even at the time of her death. www.ki4life.com or rachel@ki4life.com We all get those down in the dump moods where nothing seems to be going right or our way and it just feels like we’re living out our day under a dark cloud. When we feel like this, it causes a darkness over our thoughts, feelings and experiences throughout the day. We ignore or don’t recognise what is working in our day. Our bad mood takes over and suddenly everything is blown out of perspective – we hate our jobs, our partners are annoying, the kids are noisier than usual, we are pessimistic about reaching a deadline way before we need to be concerned. We avoid being around happy people. We talk badly about ourselves to ourselves – “I can’t believe I just did that!” “Why am I so impatient?”
Deep down we know things aren’t as bad as they seem but it’s like we are feeding this insatiable appetite to stay in the miserable mood we began the day with! Why do we do this to ourselves?
Whatever background or lifestyle you have, it’s important to be self-aware of your thoughts. Remind yourself:
When you are aware of your bad mood, bring your awareness to the emotion you are feeling at the time. Rather than avoid a negative feeling, you should allow yourself to move into it, and through it. These feelings no matter how mild, such as frustration, boredom, impatience, anticipation all need to be acknowledged so you don’t miss out on the opportunity to learn and be productive in doing something about them. If you are sad, mad and in pain, maybe these emotions are telling you to give yourself some love, some attention. Perhaps it’s a day that you need to make yourself a priority. By staying in the low mood feelings you are ignoring them and they will continue. They won’t go away that quickly. Or they may resurface again when you least expect them or at a worse time. We may even lash out at others that may not deserve it. We must manage our feelings if we are to be effective in our social surroundings with others and ourselves. When we hate feeling bored, sad, frustrated and constantly keep ourselves distracted with busy meaningless, unimportant chores or activities to avoid these feelings, we will never discover ways to really feel content. If we feel apologies are for weak, unassertive people, we will fail to recognise when an apology is due or necessary in a relationship. It’s important to realise that our emotions are there to serve us for the better, the emotions we like and don’t like are there to send us a message to do something different, to motivate us to change. Otherwise we will continue to stay in a bad mood, low energy vibration and repeat the pattern over and over again. So next time, you are in a bad mood, bring awareness to what emotions you are feeling and what triggered them. Reel in your self-talk and stop the inner critic from wallowing and swallowing up all the good in your day. Recognise emotions for what they are, temporary – like clouds in the sky, they too will pass. You will notice the more you bring awareness to your thoughts, the easier it becomes to change the pattern of thinking to see challenges as opportunities and remember your feelings are there to help you understand something important. Self-awareness is vital to discovering and understanding who we really are! If you would like help in applying this to your life, personal or business - please click here to book in a complimentary call with me Schedule-A-Call www.ki4life.com or rachel@ki4life.com Today is International Day of Happiness and to make your day a happy one, I have added a few suggestions at the end of today’s post to inspire you to make today a happy one for yourself and those around you.
This special day of celebration was founded by Jayme Illien “to inspire, mobilize and advance the global happiness movement”. So many of us struggle to define happiness, not from a philosophical or psychological perspective but rather our own. Does a happiness movement create and radiate happiness to such an extent that it makes you happy? It might, if you are open to it. Notice when you are surrounded by happy people, it can lift your spirits. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Is happiness defined by economic status, wealth or material things? Some say yes, or at least these are important factors, but does this mean we have never met or seen people in wealthy or economically strong environments unhappy? Are poor people ever happy? Are rich people ever unhappy? of course they are – money may not bring happiness, but it certainly makes life easier. Is happiness about life being easier? We know that contentment is a core factor in happiness, but can contentment only happen if we are achieving all our material goals? While there are seldom clear answers to these questions, quite often driven by perspective, there are a great many people in this world at polar ends of the economic scales that are living happy and unhappy lives. There are so many factors that affect our ability or desire to be happy and these factors exist across all humanity. It is about how we approach them, in fact, determine whether or not we are or will be happy. Some of us are a little more hardwired for happiness but all of us have to work at it. Happiness is not a specific destination, it is the result of how we act, live our lives, and how we react to what life brings us. We can learn to be happier by changing our habits – our habitual thoughts, beliefs, emotions and behavior. Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. – Dalai Lama Here are a few suggestions to bring more happiness into your day:
We must have the desire to be happy, put the energy and effort into creating our own happiness. It truly is an inside job – it is not about materiality or status, it’s about how we feel about ourselves and our circumstances. It is ultimately our choice. Far too often we allow others to hi-jack our happiness. Be strong, be grateful and above all be happy – you deserve it! Enjoy International Day of Happiness! If you would like help in applying this to your life, personal or business - please click here to book in a complimentary call with me Schedule-A-Call , or check out my upcoming class. Rachel@ki4life.com www.ki4life.com 1. Clarity
Get clear in your mind what success looks like to you. Declutter your mind of negative thoughts, limiting beliefs and behaviours. Recognise how much negative talk you tell yourself. Consciously change them to positive thoughts of yourself and your future. You will gain clarity on what beliefs, values and purpose matter most to you. This takes practice and is the most important part for long lasting change. Don’t believe everything you think. It may just be your opinion not fact. Experiment:
2. Courage Step out of your comfort zone. You have probably noticed that after a while, the comfort zone is boring, predictable and stagnant. Anytime we feel anxious to try something new, we tend to revert back to our comfort zone where it feels safe and certain and nothing is new and scary. If you fear you will be a loser or failure revert back to the negative thoughts/belief experiment before moving on. Turn your fear into a strength If you feel fear then you know you’re doing something new and challenging as long its healthy and safe. Don’t wait to feel Confident. Feeling confident comes after action. Stop avoiding what scares you when it comes to creating the life you want. You may think that avoiding them is doing you no harm but that’s not true. You will continue to beat yourself, feel small, and allow others to step up and shine instead of you. Experiment:
3. Creativity Meditate and visualise to allow creativity to expand each day. It will feel more real and achievable. It builds enthusiasm and motivation. By quieting your conscious mind, you are quieting the inner critic. If you believe it, you will achieve it! Clients tell me they want to achieve “something” “sometime” but not clear on the what, the when, and equally important the how. Spend time visualising what it is you want to change. Give it a date of being accomplished and visualise how much time will be required each day, week, month to get it done by that time. Also, add in how good you will feel when you have successfully reached that goal. 4. Commitment Commit your energy and time to the goal in mind. Make the effort and make it a priority. You will approach your goal with laser focus. Don’t make a goal simply a dream. Without action that’s all it will ever be – just a dream, a wish. The more energy and tenacity you put into it, the more successful and quicker you will achieve it. If you hit blocks or rejection, think outside the box. Go around them or through them. We learn from things that don’t always go right. Learn from the mistakes and try doing it differently next time. 5. Consistency Use S.M.A.R.T. goals to help you achieve new desires/goals into your life. Using SMART goals will help you see your goal is specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time bound. This will keep you motivated and driven to see it to the end. It’s a map of the future goal. Baby steps are better than no steps toward your goals. Keep motion going even on the bad days. Successful people don’t let those bad days slow them down. Set out a block of time each day and silence or unplug all distractions. No matter what speed your going, as long as you are going in the right direction, with laser focus on the goal day by day, you will achieve results. This is your life and you can choose to stay in your comfort zone and be bored or you can stretch yourself and learn and grow by taking action and live a happy fulfilled life. If you begin to challenge yourself, remember you will need to ride out the emotional rollercoaster that comes with uncertainty and change. It will sometimes feel like you are taking 2 steps forward and 3 steps back. Your inner critic may give you endless reasons to quit but always question your thoughts. Are they trying to protect you, provide for you or prevent you from taking action? Is it fact or fiction? Hang in there, stick with it, take responsibility and reap the rewards of your efforts. If you would like help in applying this to your life, personal or business - please click here to book in a complimentary call with me Schedule-A-Call www.ki4life.com or rachel@ki4life.com Empathy is the ability to imagine another’s emotions as they are experiencing them, and to feel as they feel. It is a core trait in a person’s Emotional Intelligence, and invaluable to persons, young and old, in having successful relationships, whether work, school or personal, and in society in general.
"When you show deep empathy toward others, their defensive energy goes down, and positive energy replaces it. That's when you can get more creative in solving problems". - Stephen Covey Empathy is important in our society for many reasons, not least of which is a society’s desire to help others less well off than our own, or in need because of circumstances beyond their control. It can change the dynamics in schools, children who are empathetic are less likely to support or overlook bullying. They are less likely to leave other children out and open to becoming victims of bullies. It allows us to better acknowledge others perspectives, or points of view and be emotionally sensitive during engagements. Our personal relationships are deeper and more satisfying when we develop empathy between us. This is no different in society in general, we see less hostility, and more willingness to find agreement, harmony or at least accept diversity of opinion. In the workforce empathy creates greater collaboration, better communication, more engaged employees, and overall workplace satisfaction. How do I learn to “walk a mile in someone else’s shoes”? We can all learn to be empathetic, or more empathetic, and we can especially undertake the important role of helping children develop it. If we have a goal of growth, for ourselves, for our children, or our workforce – empathy will be a critical trait to focus upon and develop. Empathy plays an enormous role in leadership, in mentoring, and in developing solid relationships. It is a trait that promotes influence, warmth, and kindness. Empathy drives inclusiveness, and understanding. Adults possessing empathy quite often become influential in their work and community. They regularly have leadership roles, and are frequently sought as brokers for change and balance. Children are no different, they display the same valuable traits as the adults they emulate. Teachers and those involved with children should extoll its’ virtues, acknowledging the strength of character children show when being empathetic. Some key attributes in learning to be empathetic:
Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella is obsessed with the idea of empathy, said: “Now, the challenge, though, is you can’t just say—I’ll go to work and turn on my empathy, I’m not even claiming that empathy is innate, it is something that needs to be developed…” Empathy is not something we are born with. It is taught to our children through us as their parents, teachers and in our community. This is equally true in the workplace, leaders (and this does not by definition mean bosses) influence the role of empathy, and can through influence and practice, teach others to become more empathetic. Empathy positively affects our health, our emotional happiness and our relationships. The Harvard Business Review has named empathy as one of the essential ingredients for leadership success and excellent performance. Empathy provides real meaning and allows us to thrive in a world that’s becoming more about “me” society and less about “we”. We live in an era of technology that allows all of us to become quickly disengaged in society, we are super connected via the social network, and becoming much less connected in the real world. To activate empathy, we all need to recognize and express emotions with the people around us. We need to practice making eye contact; we need to listen, and to feel. We need to be learning by observing other’s facial expressions, their physical cues and listening to the tone of their voice. This active participation is so important regardless of whether we are at school, work or out in the community. “In business... companies that want to survive...are smart enough to know that caring and cooperation are key.” - Richard Branson, CEO Virgin Group. Our communities, societies, schools, colleges and places of work will only grow in meaningful ways with a solid backbone of empathy present. Relationships flourish, this means couples, friends, colleagues, students and so on. In places of education where our children learn, empathy will produce better, more engaged human beings that will have significant impact on our overall society. These children will become adults, and join other adults in the workplace. Empathy makes the workplace a center of collaboration and trust, teamwork and real customer satisfaction. Your customers want you to empathize with them, to know that you are actively engaged and understand the experience they are dealing with. They want to have solid, real relationships, business partners who really care, who have empathy. We live in a world of people, relationships are unavoidable, and empathy truly makes them shine! If you would like help in applying this to your life, personal or business - please click here to book in a complimentary call with me Schedule-A-Call www.ki4life.com or rachel@ki4life.com We live in a society that is so wrapped up in taking selfies, snapchatting 10 second video clips of our lives to either impress or express what image we want the world to have of us. When was the last time, if any did you show the real you being you? I’m not just talking about social media.
If you are looking for self-approval, the only place you should be looking is within. When you can approve of yourself, there is no need to be yearning and craving it all the time from others. If you invest more time asking yourself direct questions to discover what your needs are, how you want to be in this world without any input from anyone else, you will know and love yourself more. And in turn, have more love to give others. I’m not saying don’t accept social approval, I’m saying don’t rely on it. When you are trying to impress others and seeking out approval, you are telling yourself, you are not good enough, you are less than, and unacceptable as you are. Is it impossible to be loved for just being you without having to have the fast car, the nice house, the titles, the beautiful body, nice clothes etc? Of course not, but it has to begin with you, loving you first. So who are you really under the façade? Have you asked yourself that question lately? Probably not. It’s exhausting hiding yourself from the world, not showing off your authentic self? I know, I was there and it’s not fun. We are all unique. There is no one else like you on the planet. By not being your authentic self, you are robbing us all of your valuable qualities, your love, your core value. Important questions that you need to ask yourself:
If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, then your lacking in self-worth and self-approval. If you don’t invest time in you, disappointment, fear and frustration will rule your thoughts about where you belong and who you are. Everyone deserves self-love, self acceptance just as we are. In control of how you wish to look, feel and be in society. I promise you, when you invest time in you, you will not only be happier, you will bring similar people into your life because you match their vibrational energy.
Don’t allow fear, lack of self-worth pull you down. We all make mistakes, fail sometimes. Which one of us is perfect? None of us are. If you get knocked down by failing or receiving a criticism, it’s just a life lesson, get back up, brush it off. Maybe the universe has something better in store for you. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be. “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” - C.G. Jung Suggestions:
Your sub-conscious mind is where all your habits are stored, developed through experiences over your life. I have written a number of blogs regarding bad-habits, and just like not being authentic, these bad habits live in us – create sustaining negative thoughts. As you become more authentic, true to who you really are, this will change your “habits file” in your sub-conscious. Attaching rewards to your efforts helps to reinforce these new changes in your subconscious. What you will begin to see is that your immediate reactions will become more positive, reinforcing to you, thus creating new thoughts and behaviours that empower you, build you up. You are amazing, wake up every day and look at yourself in the mirror, smile and tell yourself that! Your opinion of you matters most! If you would like help in applying this to your life, personal or business - please click here to book in a complimentary call with me Schedule-A-Call When we are young, our beliefs are formed through our relationships – our parents, teachers, coaches and community. These adults, to varying degrees, shaped our lives, and influenced our values, beliefs and attitudes. But now as adults, we can look back and see if these beliefs and values truly align with our own. Moreover, when put under a lens – do they make us feel better or worse about ourselves, do they hold us back or push us forward?
I grew up with the belief that “if you’re going to do something, do it right or don’t do it at all”. I heard this repeatedly growing up from my Mom. This belief was my Moms. She was always a very hard worker, holding down several jobs at the same time, and always taking pride in having a meticulously clean home. However, this belief in my mind translated to perfectionism and in turn caused procrastination on anything and everything I found difficult. I had the attitude that if I can’t do a project or assignment to a high standard, I should not start at all. This spiraled to negative thoughts - believing that maybe I was just lazy, and not smart enough. It drove self-doubt and a lack of self-worth. "If you accept a limiting belief, then it will become a truth for you" - Louise Hay Once I sat down and analysed my belief system, I began to question whether some of my beliefs and attitudes were my own, or were they the beliefs of others that I had simply absorbed or taken on during my early years. The question I asked myself was did these beliefs still represent who I was or wanted to be and did they help me, and push me forward? I began to let go the fear of failing. I stopped putting things off – I either did something it let it go. Here is a powerful exercise that I have used, created by Jack Canfield to help transform any limiting belief into empowering ones.
““Failing forward” is the ability to get back up after you’ve been knocked down, learn from your mistake, and move forward in a better direction.” – John Maxwell It’s time to challenge those beliefs – sort out the old from the new, the empowering from the limiting. We need to go within to ask ourselves who we really are, otherwise we will continue to live our lives living the way others want us to live and be. Whether, like it was for me, procrastination holds you back, or it’s fear of failure, or some other limiting belief – use this exercise to transform your belief from limiting to powerful beliefs that carry you forward. You are the designer of your own life! If you would like help in applying this to your life, personal or business - please click here to book in a complimentary call with me Schedule-A-Call Please feel free to share your comments and feedback. Rachel@ki4life.com www.ki4life.com |
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