KI4Life Coaching
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Ki4Life Moments

Want to Be More Confident?

6/23/2022

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Don’t wait to feel confident in pursuing a goal to do something new and challenging, build confidence by doing – take action. The more we act, our confidence grows. Instead of thinking of all the ways things could go wrong (fear), your focus goes on the action steps your taking – you feel in control, and you feel more certain, more confident. This is not saying that everything will work out as planned, that’s not the intention here. It’s to get started and build evidence that you are stronger than you think.
 
Do the following to feel more confident:
  1. Gain knowledge:  If there is something you want to be better at or achieve, find resources – books, training courses, YouTube videos, Ted talks – so much is available online – put in the time, educate yourself and learn.
  2. Dress for Success:  Your appearance is important. Not only will you appear more confident to others, but you feel good when your hair and/or makeup is done. Looking good and feeling good helps your confidence.
  3. Be Curious: Replace comparison with curiosity: Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. We all are unique and have different talents and experience. Instead, look at role models in your life or on social media and notice what it is about them that inspire you to do and be better so you can grow your confidence.
  4. Visualize: Spend time visualizing the outcomes you wish to have. If you have a meeting at work, social event where you need to be confident – do a mental rehearsal in your mind days and hours before it. Use all your senses. Imagine it on a large movie screen, see yourself looking confident, speaking clearly and relaxed looking. Feel how good it feels to be confident presenting, speaking in front of others. Many performers, sports athletes do this very exercise because they know that when they put in the mental practice, their confidence increases, and they perform at their best!
 
The more you take action on challenging experiences, store memories of success, you will naturally become more confident. Don’t wait to feel confident, develop your confidence!
 
“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want
to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy”
– Dale Carnegie
 
Believe you can. Act, and feel your confidence soar! - Ki4life Coaching


If you would like help in applying this to your life, personal or business - please click here to book in a complimentary call with me Schedule-A-Call
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June 22nd, 2022

6/22/2022

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We naturally wonder and compare how we measure up to others in society, but we must be careful not to allow those comparisons to diminish us. Psychologists recognize two types of envy. Benign envy is the healthier of the two where we admire someone, and they inspire us to want to be a better version of ourselves.  The other is malicious envy where we begrudge someone for the life they have or their success. One can initiate change and motivate us to be better and the other, leaves us feeling stuck in place, bitter and resentful. 
 
When you find that you are comparing yourself to others, and you will, we usually compare our weaknesses to other people’s strengths. This is not a fair comparison. We have no idea how many hours a week and social sacrifices those we are comparing to had to endure to get to where they are. We don’t know how much practice or injuries they had before being exceptional at their talent or sport.  Remember, you’re only seeing others highlight reels. They’re not posting their struggles or practices.
 
Instead, as you compare, it’s going to happen, try these suggestions:
  • Ask yourself: What is this comparison trying to tell you? Use the comparison to uncover what you value and act. If this person can succeed, what’s stopping you?
  • Compare and see what’s possible: What does your role models (famous or not), do that you admire most about them? How do they show up? How do they capture the attention of their audience? They’ve written books, created a YouTube channel – observe and learn from them. Don’t despair, compare to be better
  • Look at it as a reboot: Sometimes we compare to others and see how they have reacted when they failed, not allowing failure to define them, and how they pushed themselves forwards. You see that starting over whether it’s a new relationship, career or diet doesn’t mean you are ‘falling behind’. You learn that with the knowledge and experience you gain from failing, it’s not starting from the beginning.
  • Acknowledge what you have accomplished so far and recognize that you are not where you used to be – celebrate your wins!
 
"What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to
 what lies inside of you." – Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you would like help in applying this to your life, personal or business - please click here to book in a complimentary call with me Schedule-A-Call
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Do You Feel Like an Imposter?

5/25/2022

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Do you:
  • Fear that you will be discovered as a fraud by peers at work?
  • Find it difficult to accept and acknowledge praise and rewards for your successes?
  • Believe that past wins and successes were not due to your skills and experience but just luck?
  • Hold yourself back from contributing at meetings and events – feel like your ideas are only mediocre at best?
  • Hesitate or avoid applying for certain positions or promotions because you don’t feel good enough?
 
Usually it’s overachieving, hardworking individuals that demand perfection of themselves and have this false belief that they are going to be found out that they are an imposter in some way. Don’t think you are alone, in fact over 60% of knowledge workers struggle with imposter syndrome. 

So, what can we do about it?
  • Keep a Record: - every time you have success no matter how small it is, write it down in a journal so anytime you doubt yourself, you can go to your journal and see all the evidence to show that your thoughts about not being capable or ready are not always a fact. It’s simply a negative thought or belief.
  • Talk to someone you can trust:  We are our own worst critics, and our perspectives can be impacted. Getting someone else’s perspective and viewpoint is very helpful.  Besides, it’s highly likely that who you speak to will have experienced this same feeling before and that can be reassuring to hear too, knowing that you are not alone.
  • Recognize that perfection is unattainable. No one is perfect. It’s okay to admit when we don’t know the answer sometimes. This is how we grow and learn. 
  • Practice out loud: Know what triggers your imposter syndrome and prepare in advance. If it’s wanting to share ideas at a meeting – practice somewhere private and speak it out loud several times to yourself. Sometimes, things sound worse in our heads than they do out loud.  This will help your confidence to step up and share your ideas.
 
"I have written eleven books, but each time I think, 'uh oh, they're going to find out now. I've run a game on everyone, and they're going to find me out.'" - Maya Angelou

Imposter syndrome is simply a negative thinking pattern that can be changed over time with practice.
 

If you would like help in applying this to your life, personal or business - please click here to book in a complimentary call with me Schedule-A-Call
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​Where does your fear and anxiety show up?

11/27/2021

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Fear and/or anxiety shows up in all sorts of ways. When we go to do something new and out of our comfort zone, we tend to sabotage ourselves by making all sorts of excuses. We say we don’t have enough time or big enough network or family obligations, when really what is stopping us is fear and anxiety.
 
When you suffer with anxiety on a daily basis, it consumes your every move. You hesitate on making decisions because you fear what the outcome will be before it even happens. You assume without hesitation that the outcome will not be good. It will cause pain, disappointment or regret.  But where is the evidence to prove this to be so? There isn’t any. It’s all been concocted inside your own head! In your amazing imagination you have foreseen the worst case scenario.
 
E.F.T. – Emotional Freedom Technique, also known as ‘tapping’ because you tap on the ends of the meridians on your body. The same meridians that acupuncturists use in their treatments without the use of needles is an amazing technique to alleviate and even remove anxiety in times of stress. I don’t like calling it a technique because it is so much more powerful than just being a technique. It literally changes your energy in minutes to allow your body and mind to be more relaxed.
 
There is a huge psychological component to just tapping on the meridians. It’s important to express out loud to yourself what is it that is making you so anxious. You are focusing in with words and emotion what really is bothering you.  Of course, emotions will rise and you may feel a little tearful but only a little tearful because while your tapping on the points, you are also calming down the Amygdala in your brain that holds the fight, flight or freeze response that’s there to keep you safe. When we are anxious, we feel fearful that something is terribly wrong or will go terribly wrong and we don’t feel safe. When we tap on the meridian points along with the correct wording, we are acknowledging our feelings and releasing the fear. It sounds simple and that’s because it is that simple and powerful.
 
However, it is best to work with someone who is familiar with the right phrasing and wording to get the best results. It’s safe, simple and quick and can be taught to even children very easily and effectively.  If this is something that you would be interested in learning, please contact me and we can set up a 90 minute appointment to release you from your anxiety, feel more confident and take action on your goals. 
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Time for a Change?

6/17/2021

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During this time of isolation and self-reflection, some of us have identified a need for change in our lives. That change is different for each of us but the fundamentals of how we should approach any changes should follow a similar and clearly defined process. So maybe, you’re unhappy with your current role or employer. You feel unrewarded, undervalued, lacking fulfilment, and/or growth opportunities. You really have two options – stay or leave.

​To get clarity of what exactly you want to change, the following questions are helpful:-
1. List the benefits of staying in your current job
2. List the consequences of staying in your current job
3. List the benefits of moving to a new role in a different company
4. List the consequences of moving to a new role in a different company

Once you have your total list, pick the top 3 that are most important to you. This gives you a visual of what you value most to make this change happen, or not.
Reaching out to someone that knows you really well and talking over these benefits and consequences with them will give you their input on your situation. If you find, you want to make a change but fear making a change and/or don’t have the motivation to make it happen, invest in a coach to assist you.

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Owning It

5/4/2021

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Without accountability, very few achieve their goals, it sets the tone of owning your obligation to complete what you’ve committed to. It does not matter if it’s a personal goal or you are part of a larger project, accountability changes how others perceive you, trust you and whether people want to work with or collaborate with you. If you are accountable, they know you’ll hold your end up, and take ownership for your actions to complete what you set out to achieve.

It helps to have another person be aware of your goal/s and timelines to achieve them. Ultimately, having someone else remind you of your commitment stops you from finding excuses for why you did not accomplish your goal or milestone. We don’t like to be honest with ourselves if we fail, particularly if we didn’t stay focused or put in the effort or work.


If you don’t hold yourself accountable to reaching your goal/s, ask yourself:
- Is this the right goal for me?
- Do I have the resources, experience to achieve this goal?
- Do I believe in myself?


If the answer to all of the above questions is ‘yes’, you then have to ask – what excuses are you making to give you permission to not achieving your goal? At the end of the day, no matter what we call them, they are just excuses – “I didn’t have time” (I didn’t prioritise it).


Accountability is about holding yourself responsible if you fail to hit a milestone or accomplish your goal. It is your job to determine the whys and taking the appropriate corrective action to complete your milestone or goal.


If you would like help with accountability in your life, personal or business - please click here to book in a complimentary call with me Schedule-A-Call

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Clearing Clutter Creates Clarity

4/19/2021

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Feeling overwhelmed is like when your 4 walls feel like they are closing in on you, too many things to accomplish in your head can feel very similar to the clutter in your living and work space. Your mind feels overwhelmed with things you should do or what you have to do.

The to-do list appears to never reduce down and we end up in a form of analysis paralysis, and not getting anything accomplished. As an example, you may want to change your diet, exercise more, start a new class, or clean out your closets. Attempting too many changes at once though, are likely to create more overwhelm and cause you to quit sooner.

In order to overcome this, it is necessary to prioritize your goals, and divide them into achievable objectives. firstly:
1) Stop using words such as ‘should’ ‘must’ ‘have to’ instead make it more concrete. Try using words such as, ‘choose’, ‘commit‘. “I choose to start today”. “I commit to completing this today”. They are more positive and decisive.

2) Commit to one goal with one change that will make a difference – Add green vegetables to your diet 3 days a week or workout after work twice a week, or clear out a shoe closet. The changes don’t need to be big. By committing to small changes you create momentum, and build self-confidence in your ability to meet your goals.

Don’t let overwhelm stop you in your tracks. Start with small simple steps forward. Momentum and success will follow.

If you would like help in applying this to your life, personal or business - please click here to book in a complimentary call with me Schedule-A-Call

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S.T.O.P.

2/21/2021

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When you find yourself being triggered to react to something, use the following technique to take back control and stop the situation from controlling you.

S: Stop for just a moment. Don’t react. Give yourself the gift of brief reflection.

T: Take a breath, focus on breathing in and out. Track your breath. Sense the chest rising and falling.

O: Observe your experience: Notice the sensations in the body. and the thoughts or the story going through your mind and appreciate that thoughts are not facts. Explore your emotions and get a sense of where you are in this moment.

P: Proceed, move forward in a way that feels right to you and is consistent with your values. Remind yourself that you only have a problem when you can’t do anything about it. If you are not taking action, you may be making excuses to not do something about it out of fear and feeling powerless. Take your power back and take the appropriate action.

Trust yourself. 
Don't let life happen to you. 

If you would like help in applying this to your life, personal or business - please click here to book in a complimentary call with me Schedule-A-Call

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Ingredients for Success

1/15/2021

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The ingredients to bake a cake require flour and other key elements depending on the type of cake, attempting to bake it with the wrong or missing ingredients will always result in failure. Setting personal strategies and goals with missing skills, gaps or failing to identify blocks will always result in failing to achieve our objectives.
 
Turning our dreams into reality requires us to create a strategy, set goals and execute, adjusting and staying the course. This is the common message we read in self-help magazines, books, and other mediums we leverage to propel ourselves forward. These steps are the right steps, but far too often, we do not examine our strengths and weaknesses before we create our strategies and goals, and quite often this leads to failure, disillusionment, and frustration. We give up, say it’s just too hard, I don’t have what it takes.
 
When we fail to examine and identify who we are today, what we have, and what we are missing, or what will block us from achieving our goals, we set ourselves up for failure and frustration. In organisations this examination is called a SWOT analysis (strengths, weaknesses, objectives, and threats), and is a critical step in determining the organisations strategies, goals and execution plan. It is, for many of us, the critical missing step that continues to hold us back.
 
If you are determined to grow, take the time to review where you are versus where you want to be, examine the gaps, honestly. If you identify gaps or blocks for you, you must decide, to fill in the gaps, to overcome the blockages, or find a different course, a different goal. This is really important for growth, as sometimes we either do not want to address the underlying issues that block us, or we don’t want to do the work necessary to fill in gaps, and that is okay, if that is your choice. This is not about giving up, it is about pragmatism, moving onward and upward, forward motion.  
Make sure you have the right mix of ingredients that match your goal, and if you do not have them, getting them must be your first goal.
 
If you would like help in applying this to your life, personal or business - please click here to book in a complimentary call with me Schedule-A-Call
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Delegate

8/1/2020

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Do you find yourself doing most of the work in your job lately? The one who always feels that it’s easier, quicker or better to do it all yourself? This is a very common phenomenon and it is usually driven by perfectionism or conflict avoidance.

If this is you, I am sure you can feel burnt out, sometimes irritable or even resentful around the ones you work with. With all the changes we are all experiencing right now, it benefits us all to keep our jobs and relationships healthy and enjoyable. When we fail to delegate, step back, give others the freedom to do the work, you fail to support the growth of others.

Instead guide and engage co-workers to help with tasks and projects. Show you trust them to complete things, that they are done to their satisfaction and not always yours. Your time and energy are valuable so prioritize it and empower others to step up and adapt.

As Scott Berkun said - “Imparting trust, the real meaning of delegation, is a powerful thing.”
​

Don’t judge their efforts, don’t look for excuses to step in and complete everything to your standards. Try giving them a chance, meet them half way.
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