Don’t wait to feel confident in pursuing a goal to do something new and challenging, build confidence by doing – take action. The more we act, our confidence grows. Instead of thinking of all the ways things could go wrong (fear), your focus goes on the action steps your taking – you feel in control, and you feel more certain, more confident. This is not saying that everything will work out as planned, that’s not the intention here. It’s to get started and build evidence that you are stronger than you think.
Do the following to feel more confident:
The more you take action on challenging experiences, store memories of success, you will naturally become more confident. Don’t wait to feel confident, develop your confidence! “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy” – Dale Carnegie Believe you can. Act, and feel your confidence soar! - Ki4life Coaching If you would like help in applying this to your life, personal or business - please click here to book in a complimentary call with me Schedule-A-Call
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We naturally wonder and compare how we measure up to others in society, but we must be careful not to allow those comparisons to diminish us. Psychologists recognize two types of envy. Benign envy is the healthier of the two where we admire someone, and they inspire us to want to be a better version of ourselves. The other is malicious envy where we begrudge someone for the life they have or their success. One can initiate change and motivate us to be better and the other, leaves us feeling stuck in place, bitter and resentful.
When you find that you are comparing yourself to others, and you will, we usually compare our weaknesses to other people’s strengths. This is not a fair comparison. We have no idea how many hours a week and social sacrifices those we are comparing to had to endure to get to where they are. We don’t know how much practice or injuries they had before being exceptional at their talent or sport. Remember, you’re only seeing others highlight reels. They’re not posting their struggles or practices. Instead, as you compare, it’s going to happen, try these suggestions:
"What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you." – Ralph Waldo Emerson If you would like help in applying this to your life, personal or business - please click here to book in a complimentary call with me Schedule-A-Call Do you:
Usually it’s overachieving, hardworking individuals that demand perfection of themselves and have this false belief that they are going to be found out that they are an imposter in some way. Don’t think you are alone, in fact over 60% of knowledge workers struggle with imposter syndrome. So, what can we do about it?
"I have written eleven books, but each time I think, 'uh oh, they're going to find out now. I've run a game on everyone, and they're going to find me out.'" - Maya Angelou Imposter syndrome is simply a negative thinking pattern that can be changed over time with practice. If you would like help in applying this to your life, personal or business - please click here to book in a complimentary call with me Schedule-A-Call Fear and/or anxiety shows up in all sorts of ways. When we go to do something new and out of our comfort zone, we tend to sabotage ourselves by making all sorts of excuses. We say we don’t have enough time or big enough network or family obligations, when really what is stopping us is fear and anxiety.
When you suffer with anxiety on a daily basis, it consumes your every move. You hesitate on making decisions because you fear what the outcome will be before it even happens. You assume without hesitation that the outcome will not be good. It will cause pain, disappointment or regret. But where is the evidence to prove this to be so? There isn’t any. It’s all been concocted inside your own head! In your amazing imagination you have foreseen the worst case scenario. E.F.T. – Emotional Freedom Technique, also known as ‘tapping’ because you tap on the ends of the meridians on your body. The same meridians that acupuncturists use in their treatments without the use of needles is an amazing technique to alleviate and even remove anxiety in times of stress. I don’t like calling it a technique because it is so much more powerful than just being a technique. It literally changes your energy in minutes to allow your body and mind to be more relaxed. There is a huge psychological component to just tapping on the meridians. It’s important to express out loud to yourself what is it that is making you so anxious. You are focusing in with words and emotion what really is bothering you. Of course, emotions will rise and you may feel a little tearful but only a little tearful because while your tapping on the points, you are also calming down the Amygdala in your brain that holds the fight, flight or freeze response that’s there to keep you safe. When we are anxious, we feel fearful that something is terribly wrong or will go terribly wrong and we don’t feel safe. When we tap on the meridian points along with the correct wording, we are acknowledging our feelings and releasing the fear. It sounds simple and that’s because it is that simple and powerful. However, it is best to work with someone who is familiar with the right phrasing and wording to get the best results. It’s safe, simple and quick and can be taught to even children very easily and effectively. If this is something that you would be interested in learning, please contact me and we can set up a 90 minute appointment to release you from your anxiety, feel more confident and take action on your goals. During this time of isolation and self-reflection, some of us have identified a need for change in our lives. That change is different for each of us but the fundamentals of how we should approach any changes should follow a similar and clearly defined process. So maybe, you’re unhappy with your current role or employer. You feel unrewarded, undervalued, lacking fulfilment, and/or growth opportunities. You really have two options – stay or leave.
Without accountability, very few achieve their goals, it sets the tone of owning your obligation to complete what you’ve committed to. It does not matter if it’s a personal goal or you are part of a larger project, accountability changes how others perceive you, trust you and whether people want to work with or collaborate with you. If you are accountable, they know you’ll hold your end up, and take ownership for your actions to complete what you set out to achieve.
Feeling overwhelmed is like when your 4 walls feel like they are closing in on you, too many things to accomplish in your head can feel very similar to the clutter in your living and work space. Your mind feels overwhelmed with things you should do or what you have to do.
When you find yourself being triggered to react to something, use the following technique to take back control and stop the situation from controlling you.
The ingredients to bake a cake require flour and other key elements depending on the type of cake, attempting to bake it with the wrong or missing ingredients will always result in failure. Setting personal strategies and goals with missing skills, gaps or failing to identify blocks will always result in failing to achieve our objectives.
Turning our dreams into reality requires us to create a strategy, set goals and execute, adjusting and staying the course. This is the common message we read in self-help magazines, books, and other mediums we leverage to propel ourselves forward. These steps are the right steps, but far too often, we do not examine our strengths and weaknesses before we create our strategies and goals, and quite often this leads to failure, disillusionment, and frustration. We give up, say it’s just too hard, I don’t have what it takes. When we fail to examine and identify who we are today, what we have, and what we are missing, or what will block us from achieving our goals, we set ourselves up for failure and frustration. In organisations this examination is called a SWOT analysis (strengths, weaknesses, objectives, and threats), and is a critical step in determining the organisations strategies, goals and execution plan. It is, for many of us, the critical missing step that continues to hold us back. If you are determined to grow, take the time to review where you are versus where you want to be, examine the gaps, honestly. If you identify gaps or blocks for you, you must decide, to fill in the gaps, to overcome the blockages, or find a different course, a different goal. This is really important for growth, as sometimes we either do not want to address the underlying issues that block us, or we don’t want to do the work necessary to fill in gaps, and that is okay, if that is your choice. This is not about giving up, it is about pragmatism, moving onward and upward, forward motion. Make sure you have the right mix of ingredients that match your goal, and if you do not have them, getting them must be your first goal. If you would like help in applying this to your life, personal or business - please click here to book in a complimentary call with me Schedule-A-Call Do you find yourself doing most of the work in your job lately? The one who always feels that it’s easier, quicker or better to do it all yourself? This is a very common phenomenon and it is usually driven by perfectionism or conflict avoidance.
If this is you, I am sure you can feel burnt out, sometimes irritable or even resentful around the ones you work with. With all the changes we are all experiencing right now, it benefits us all to keep our jobs and relationships healthy and enjoyable. When we fail to delegate, step back, give others the freedom to do the work, you fail to support the growth of others. Instead guide and engage co-workers to help with tasks and projects. Show you trust them to complete things, that they are done to their satisfaction and not always yours. Your time and energy are valuable so prioritize it and empower others to step up and adapt. As Scott Berkun said - “Imparting trust, the real meaning of delegation, is a powerful thing.” Don’t judge their efforts, don’t look for excuses to step in and complete everything to your standards. Try giving them a chance, meet them half way. |
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